Busy Is An Understatement

Well, it seems that my life is about to get a little bit busier.  I referred to this subject in my last post, but didn't really "go" there as not to jinx myself.  Well, it's official.  I've been offered the position and I've accepted the assignment.  Here we go...full steam ahead.

What am I talking about?  I'll be working on base for a couple months.  I'm a temp employee working for Boeing, so I'm not employed by them, but by Volt Services.  A-okay.  The assignment will begin at 40 hours/week and it's expected to eventually become 60 hours/week.  We'll see.  Bottom line, it's only a couple of months and I can handle it. I've been skating by the past few months.

Now, I'm still keeping my permanent job at Durham Realty, I'll just be mixing around and adjusting my hours to accomodate my new schedule.  I told you my boss rocks.  Of course it's works out that we're slow this time of year.  And then when the temp job ends I'll start in on real estate classes.  Phew.  Told you I'd be busy. ;)

In addition, like I don't have enough going on, I've started my own business.  Sassy.  It's a fun job, developed just for fun, selling designer inspired handbags and accessories.  I dreamt copied the concept for parties that I've attended in the past.  And discovered that there are none here.  Open market. :)  Yay.  So, I tentatively now have 3 parties on the books.  We'll see if they pan out.

In between we'll continue to research and search adoption options.  And hopefully FINALLY decide on the path, avenue, trail that we're destined for.  I will admit it's been on the bottom of the list, but never far from my mind.  I guess maybe it's time for Brent to do some research.  LOL.  We'll see...

Last night I had dinner with a group of ladies that I'd never met before.  It was quite a mixed bag, and I generally find the fertile women a little bit much to deal with.  It could have been my frame of mind, or the delicious pinot grigio I was sipping, but the bouncy twenty-somethings with eggs ready-to-fire, didn't bother me much.  Eh, let 'em have 'em.   I don't need that particular super power.  Ha!  In all seriousness, I wish much to reproduction to those who can, will and want.  It's just that I believe in humor and sometimes you just have to laugh about it.  Seriously.

So, I guess it's just the way the wind blows.  I've spent so much time being angry, heart broken, and confused about it all, that it really feels good to just go with the flow.  See what happens.  Figure it out as the time comes.  And right now, I have forms to fill out, cups to pee in, and badges to get.  I'm busy.  And that's an understatement.

Have a happy day!

Just Rolling Along

Things are certainly better here than from my last post. I was feeling really down and discouraged, and tired, if you hadn't caught that the first 150 times I said it. LOL. But I'm feeling much better this week.

It could be the lovely weather we're having here, but it's most likely that things have slowed on the body front. Slowed, not stopped, but I do have more energy. I have been better about taking my vitamins and iron supplement, so that likely helps as well.

Other than that, we're just drifting along. No real decisions have been made on the adoption front, but I'm not pushing as we did agree to wait until winter to decide anything about the adoption. Meaning what avenue we will take. At this point it's a given that we'll be proceeding with adoption.

I'm a planner. So I'm trying not to obsess about every little detail. Like where the baby will sleep. And the fact that the "nursery" is a strange color and will be hard to decorate around. In fact, my plan is to not use it as a nursery at all. For now. I think we'll just plan on putting whatever baby comes along in our room, and we'll worry about the rest later. But as I said, I'm a planner and it's hard for me to do.

In an effort to keep busy and keep from obsessing about all things baby I'm starting a new business. I haven't announced this ANYWHERE so you'll be the first to know. I am placing my first real order tonight. I will be selling designer-inspired handbags and accessories. My business name is SASSY. Since it's a word that covers anything and that I use constantly. And I have my first party in the making...just waiting for the stuff to actually get here. So far, so good.

In addition, I have applied for a temp job on base. They called for a pre-interview, but who knows. It's anyones game at this point. It would be 60 hours/week for 2 months, give or take, and my full time job will allow me to adjust my hours to fit. So it's really a win-win. Now, whether they'll call or not, who knows. Anyway, it would allow us to bank some $, or take care of other bills, to make more money for baby. Yeah, I know...it always comes back to baby.

So, the 2nd room sits fairly empty, waiting for the decision. Do I make it a full-time office/guest room/project room or do I wait and make it a nursery/guest room. I'm thinking that it will serve a better purpose as an office. But I'm not making any snap decisions...

Have a happy day!

Tired, Tired and More Tired

I have PCOS. This is not new information, and for those of you who know me personally, or have followed along, I was diagnosed many, many years ago now. After all, we have been TTC for well over 9 years. Every year my body changes. Not so much externally, I've been heavy for years, and while I don't like it, I find it very difficult to follow a healthy lifestyle plan that ends in me losing a recognizeable amount of weight. I am, however, changing internally. And I'm worried. I don't speak about it, I pass it off as "normal for me", but the truth be told, it worries me. A lot.

I have have been menstrating since May 14. I have had one or two days, since that period of time, that I have been without bleeding. Now, to be fair, this is fairly normal for me. It ranges from gushing, to mere spotting, back to the former, and so on. I am exhausted. I'm mad. I'm mad at myself for not being strong enough to do something about it, and I'm mad at God for making me this way. Like most things in my life, I feel if I ignore it, it will go away. It won't. And I have to face it. Head on. But I'm scared.

The thing that sucks the most? It's not the weight that is my foremost concern. It is important, probably most important, but I know that inevitably I will need a hysterectomy. While I'm looking forward to that day, when I can claim my life back, I dread it as well. For if indeed a hysterectomy is what I need, my chances of ever having the chance of a bio baby is gone. Most days I can deal with that, or I thought I could. But now it's my reality, and it's a pretty big dose of truth to swallow.

I have a lot of work to do. Too bad I'm so tired. Time to up my iron supplement I guess. Here's to finding the good in everything...