Search Party

Well, as promised, or threatened depending how you look at it, I have been searching, searching and researching adoption information. There is a lot of information out there, and a lot of good, truthful, honest information, and I'm assuming an equal amount of dirty old jerks trying to rip off good people.

As I've been wading through information I was have been growing apprehensive and nervous. There is a lot to consider with parenting in general, but specifically with adoption. More than I anticipated, I think. Anyway, just when I was feeling down and discouraged, for oh, about the 199,987th time, I stumbled across a website that specializes in adoption finance. Financing is difficult with adoption. I have no house, so a home equity loan is out of question, and I can't really use a baby as collateral, can I? lol. I've been reading for an accurate expectation of what an "average" adoption costs. And well, the figures are all over the board. The best I can come up with is that the average cost is $15-45k. That's a huge difference. The first number is entirely doable the high end of that, makes me start hyperventilating!

Since Alaska has very few birth parents that place their children willingly, we are looking at other resources. One of those is a referral agency. So far, we're finding a number of available situations which is hopeful, but we're also finding that they're on the upper range of the aforementioned numbers. This is the part that is hard to swallow. I understand some of the fees, I'm not so keen on some of the others. I will pay any amount to make sure that the birthparents have adequate, and hopefully really good, counseling. I can only imagine what a life-changing decision this is, and the pain and emotional trauma associated with it.

But, I have an issue with living expenses. And it's legal, I've done research there. One birthmom was asking to have her dental work paid for, many others ask for living expenses, and while I understand their needs, I don't always understand how I, or the potential adoptive parents, are responsible for all their needs. We are providing a life, a home, an education for a child they cannot, or choose not, to parent. My head has a hard time wrapping around this, my heart says to just shut up and go for it. But I'm not independantly wealthy and I would like to send my kids to college... :)

Anyway, so more research to be done. And we'll find the process that's right for us.

Have a happy day!