April 5, 2012

I have always imagined what it would be to hear the news that I would become a mother.  It happened nothing like I imagined, but it was absolutely perfect. 

April 5, 2012 started out as a completely normal day.  In fact, my work day ended as a completely normal day.  It was Day #2 of waiting to hear if we would be parents, or if we would (certainly, in my head) be turned down again.

I had just left base and was tooling along the Richardson Hwy when I received a blocked call on my phone.  This meant one of two things.  A telemarketer (jerks!) or the adoption agency.  I grabbed that phone and hit answer faster than I can down a twinkie. 

I was right.  It was L, from the agency. I was preparing myself for another no, as she was giving me grief for answering my cell phone while I was driving.  I was telling myself that it was no, and it was ok.  That our time would be soon, when I heard the words "C has chosen you and Brent to parent her child.   She'd like to meet you." I immediately started sobbing, set down the phone and pulled over.   I just sat there and listened to details, not believing those words, not hearing the majority of what was being said.  I heard boy, due June 8, and I was in love.  And so stinkin' excited I thought I might explode.

She ended the phone call, and I got out of my truck.  I'm sure to the passers by, the lady jumping up and down, obviously emotional, was probably a pretty disturbing sight.  I could care less.  On the way home I tried to imagine how I would tell Brent.  I would glance at my speedometer and see that it was far above what the Alaska State Troopers would find excusable.  I eventually just set my cruise and tried to enjoy the longest, most agonizing trip home.  Ever.

I finally got home and found that Brent and the dogs were outside.  Cash and Ches greeted me as they do everyday, and Brent's nose was buried in the hood of the snowmobile.  I tried to give sufficient love to the furkids, but I was bursting.  I asked Brent to turn around and look at me.  I told him I had something really important to say and he had to look at me.  I could tell he was annoyed.  I left my sunglasses on so he wouldn't see my red, puffy eyes.  Though how he could miss the tears on my cheeks, I have no idea.

I said to him, "well, I hope you can take some time off work in June.  I can't really bring your son home from the hospital by myself.  She chose us!!!"  To which the most manly face turned exuberant with yes's and a whole lot of jumping and fist pumping.  Then we hugged, shared our moments, and I'm pretty sure he asked me at least 25 times if I was lying to him.  And the phone calls began.

I find myself weepy, excited and scared all within a 30 second window.  I'm pretty sure he feels the same.  Then the reality hits that she could change her mind, we push that down, and we just enjoy the pure joy we feel.  How blessed we are!