Say a little prayer for me...

So, the past few days have been stressful. Everytime we think we have the world by the balls something pops up. And you would begin to hope that it's something positive and wonderful. Umm...not so much. So, today, the window of opportunity is opened. We're searching for solutions and determined not to give up. If you have an extra minute could you throw a little prayer in for Sparky?

'Til Later.

A Hitch In Our Giddy Up

So, something you should know about my life is that it's never been easy. Now, don't get me wrong, there are many, many, many people out there who have it much worse than I do. But let's face it, I always take the long road to get where I"m going. Always. Unfortunately, it happens to Sparky by association as well.

Alaska has turned down his receiprocity. It's ridiculous really, and no fault of his own. Just a stupid, antiquated, senseless state law they have. So, Plan B is on the horizon. We're still trying to work out all the particulars, but we're smart people, we'll make it work. In time we'll figure out how and when it's supposed to happen, and then we'll move forward again. Until then, we sit and wait and stew. This situation is HIGHLY stressful, but it's worth it. Or, I hope it is anyway.

"Til Later,
K

Religion and Politics

I'm not a religious fanatic, or an overly controversial person. I believe in God, and I believe that certain things are personal. Politics and religion are personal. So then why is it that EVERYWHERE I go, I'm bombarded with false information. Let's face it people, they are ALL politicians. Don't you think the phrase "honest politician" is a little contradictory?

As a Christian, I believe in your right to not believe in God. It scares me to death. But that's my issue. However, why is it as a Christian and a conservative I'm considered uneducated and lacking in common sense? They're beliefs people. Not only are they intensely personal, but they are most likely going to change and morph as you age, mature, grow and learn. I learned a long time ago to never say never. Unless you're living someone else's life you don't know how you'll react until it actually happens to you.

Buy a clue. Keep your opinions to yourself. And stop thinking you're superior in any way. I don't care what you're religious or political beliefs and standings are as long as you're a considerate, thoughtful person. When you think you have "proof" of one thing or another, you don't. Unless you were there, experienced it with them, or experienced it yourself, you don't have a right to judge me, or my beliefs.

She's having a baby...

So in all the drama with Alaska, I have neglected to update you on my life. My good friend, S, is expecting her second child in the coming weeks, possibly days. I'm fortunate that I have good friends. The road of infertility is hard, and I've been shocked by the callousness of people I allowed into my life. Those who have taken my innermost private feelings and used them against me. Some of my "friends" have taken my reactions, my feelngs, and used them to turn others against me, or make me seem like less of a friend because of them. These people are no longer a part of my life.

Back to S. When she was expecting her first child, Spunky, she was gracious enough to include me in every portion of the pregnancy. I was even there when we found out that Spunky was a girl. To the average person it may not seem like a very big deal, but to me, a woman that's only had the privilege of seeing ovaries and a uterus via ultrasound, seeing that flutter, that beating, pulsing heart, was one of dreams. To see that little gummi bear moving and waving was fantastic. After Spunky was born I spent more time there than at home, but I was connected to her, and to S. She allowed me a special place through her pregnancy, a privilege I may never experience on my own, and for that I am truly thankful to her.

Move forward 2.5 years. S is ready to have child #2. She and hubby try the first month and she receives a negative pregnancy test. Spunky was conceived on the first shot, so this was her first negative. She was devastated. The first one, or ten, are always hard. Luckily, the next month's timing turned out to be better and we found out that Bubba was on his way. Again, S has included me. The situation is slightly different this time, but seeing, feeling, touching him (and unavoidably her) she's allowed me once again to live it with her. It's simple really. She wouldn't have to do it. But I'll be forever thankful to her for that.

Last night I sat and watched her belly move. I watched as Bubba stretched and pushed. I helped her time a couple of contractions. And even though I saw she was uncomfortable, I couldn't help but feel envious. To wonder, for just a moment, what it must feel like to feel him move, feel him push, and tug, and even though it's not always pleasant for her. And I wonder...will that ever be me?

'Til Later...

Hurry up to wait

The weekends go by way too quickly. Especially when you're trying to squeeze months of projects into days of time. It's never ending. This week has been better than the past couple but we're still sitting waiting for answers. Answers to big questions and small, though all of them seem big these days.

Plans are coming together for Sparky's departure to Alaska. He's leaving, but we're still not sure when. Our current state is holding up licensing, which really shouldn't surprise us, but as soon as it goes through he'll be able to call his recruiter and have him book the flight. Waiting is killer. Pins and needles. It's very exhausting. And stressful.

All of this has come up very quickly. We figured we'd move. We also figured and hoped that it would be within our current state. This 3000+ mile move is quickly taking the fun out of everything. The fact that we have a current lease also puts a damper on things. We're excited, and nervous. Nervous, nervous and excited. We'll basically be starting over. Some clothes, some mementos, the rest will be sold or put into storage until we decide if AK is our forever home, or until (more likely) we move back to the lower 48.

We had a good weekend. Spent a little time with our newest nephew T and his dad. Sparky golfed with Brother and Dad on Saturday while I hung out with Mom and T. All in all a good day. Today I fulfilled my role as good wife and cleaned and cooked up a storm.

Tomorrow's Monday...back to the grind.

"Til then...

PCOS Sucks.

One of my main issues with the move to Alaska, is the lack of medical care. Or perhaps it's more fair to say, my perception of the lack of medical care there. If I were a normal woman I would have no reservations about the move, family building wise anyway.

We're leaning toward, feeling drawn to, adoption. But what now? What? How do I begin? WHEN do I begin? So, for now, we're heading back towards the trying to conceive a bio child, and then if that doesn't work out, we'll move forward.

It's hard, and scary, emotionally. To put yourself out there, to set yourself up for the disappointment and the heartbreak. It's exhausting. The thought of it makes me want to give up. And we're no where near beginning yet. Ugh. But I need not get a head of myself. I have a lot of work to do before the fun begins. I need to get this frick frackin' PCOS under control. You know what? Screw control, I'm going to conquer this bitch once and for all.

Now, once I get Sparky packed up and on his way, game on.
Are you in?

North...

...To Alaska! That's where my hubby is going. In approximately 12 days Sparky will depart for the North Slope. Why? He's going to work there. Is it my first choice? Absolutely not. However, a change is necessary, therefore, a change is here.

In additional job news, he's applied, interviewed, and preliminarily accepted a position with Boeing. Surprise. This position is also in Alaska. This is a permanent position. At this point we're putting it in God's hands. We've put our needs in place, and if it's not acceptable to the position, then it's simply not meant to be. End of conversation.

I have to admit. The move has me worried. We both know that we don't want to end up in Alaska. It's a nice state, it looks gorgeous, but it's a long, long way from family. Sparky knows that he wants to be in Minnesota, and well, I'm just okay with that. Though not necessarily where we are. We'll see what happens. In the meantime, absolutely nothing has been resolved by our decision. Everything is still flopping in the wind. At this point, it's just our of our hands...and in His. Just like everything else.

In other news, fall has arrived in Southern Minnesota. It's cool, the windows are open the soft, cool breeze is slipping over the window sills, and I'm ready for a peaceful, solid slumber. Too bad there's laundry to do, blogs to write, emails to catch up on, and facebook to check. And of course, Sparky's back to rub. Usually I'd brush him off and tell him that I will another night...but our night's are numbered, and there will be many in between that he falls asleep alone. So tonight, I bid adeiu and go to rub my hubby's back.

'Til later.