Ready, ready, ready to run!!

So, a friend, ex co-worker, acquaintance (?) came out and fixed my computer tonight. I was having issues running Microsoft Office. Success was accomplished and I am up and running! The cost? Dinner. I made a fabulous lasagna, salad and bread. He was happy, I was happy. And now, I can work. Work, work, play and work. lol.

So, now I'm busy working on my resume. A boring snoozefet one for Word users, and a snazzy publisher one for those who can open a pdf. Lol. Rock out with your cock out. Wait, does that apply? lol. I don't think so, but I'm so ready to get this up and moving. MOVING. Let's roll.

Next on the agenda is researching networking goods and getting my name and occupation out there. I don't know how much more I can handle right now. But I'm trying to get all my ducks in a row so that I will actually have work and income when we arrive in Alaska. Woot!'

Tomorrow we have the unpleasant task of telling our landlords and friends that we'll be moving. The problem is that we're breaking our lease, in the dead of winter. We'll see how that goes. We're going to try to offer to pay rent as long as possible, but I'm not made of endless money, especially without a job, so we'll see how it goes. Yikes.

Anyway, despite this horrid headache, nasty cold and the added stress, I'm great!! lol.

It just keeps getting harder

I know it's silly getting attached to things. They are, after all, just things. However, after you've worked and toiled and worked some more to have something of your own in this world, it's hard to let it ALL go. On top of that my Woobs is going too. We just can't make her travel 3000+ miles. It wouldn't be fair. To her. But it breaks my heart.

Tonight we sold our ATV. We've only owned it for a bit over a year. But it's been a long time coming. Our first toy. And now, it's gone. Ugh. It's hard to sell off your stuff and put it all away. It's harder to sell it to friends, and watch bits and pieces of your life disappear. In your heart you know it's just, stuff. It's all replaceable. But in the end, it truly is a piece of our lives. And as much as it may not make sense, it's hard to part with every single thing you own.

In time we'll move forward and look back at all of this and laugh. I'm sure of it now. But right now it feels raw and real and painful. And even as I type I laugh and think what nonsense this all is.

Now, next task. Finding a place to live...

Sometimes it just needs to come out.

Okay, so. It's craziness here in our life right now. I'm not complaining, I do my best work when things are nuts. But sometimes keeping it all locked up is really, really hard. You see, I'm not a secret keeping person. I don't believe in them. It causes problems. I prefer to be up there and out there. Line. Toed. So, that makes keeping our moving plans close to heart, painful.

Our landlords are our good friends. And we have a lease. So, now I need to ask to break the lease and it's difficult. I have every intention of making it easy for them, and doing right by them. However, I know they'll be hurt, and angry and that bothers me. On top of that, her grandma passed as I talked about here. And so, it's all so much for them to handle. I feel guilty. And sad. And scared. I just don't want it to hurt our friendship. I truly appreciate them, and all that they have done for us. I'm afraid that they'll feel that we're taking advantage of our friendship. It's just bad timing, and what we have to do for our family. I'm not sure they'll "hear" that.

My job. They know Sparky was going to head up for the temp job. They don't know that temp job is no longer on the horizon, and that he's just accepted the permanent job. They know that he'll be going in January, but not me. It's not a great time for me to leave. But I must. And so I'm feeling guilt and stress with that.

It's all sitting on my shoulders. The pressure. The stress. I feel that I should be in a place to feel excited about our move, but I'm not. I'm just feeling that everyone is disappointed. I just want support, and understanding, and I don't get much of that. Okay, done whining now. lol.

Ups and Downs and Bumps in the Road

Well, it's been a while since I've been here. I've been busy. Swamped actually. We've started the purge. We've rented a storage unit and we're preparing to fill it to the brim. I've been giving stuff away, planning to pack, cleaning out and dividing it up. And it feels so, so good.

On many other notes, it's been a pretty crappy week. Sparky's aunt Judy has been given 2 months to live. Cancer. Damn cancer. She's sweet, and strong, and she's not giving up the fight. We're saddened, and hopeful, after all, miracles do happen every day, right? Please pray.

My friend Cindy's Gram passed last week. They laid her to rest on Monday a.m. I know that Grams has found peace, and she's dancing in the arms of her beloved husband. But I know the pain, the grief and the loss is there amongst her family. Grams was a very special lady, and she had a very special bond with Cindy and Indy. She will be missed, and so fondly and lovingly remembered. Rest in peace Gladys.

So, I may have found a potential place for us to live in Alaska. It's, um, not exactly what I was hoping for, but it has promise. Is that the word? Um, yeah, promise. So, it's food for thought. The price is right, they would allow my dog, and it's cleanable. We'll see. We'll wait and see. But, honestly, we want to keep the rent low, as heating and living is costly. And well, I'm going to be jobless. JOBLESS. Do you understand? Without job. No income. Of my own. OMG. It's been a long time since I've been jobless. Long time. But I plan to work. As a virtual assistant, from home. And hopefully go to school.

My friend Tammy, at a new blogspot that I do not yet know the name of, has challenged me. She picked it up from some brilliant lady bloggers (which I'll find and reference) and anyway, she's challenged me to document my life in one photo per day, for 365 days. GAME ON!! So, I'll be picking a start date and getting ready to go!

Say a little prayer for me...

So, the past few days have been stressful. Everytime we think we have the world by the balls something pops up. And you would begin to hope that it's something positive and wonderful. Umm...not so much. So, today, the window of opportunity is opened. We're searching for solutions and determined not to give up. If you have an extra minute could you throw a little prayer in for Sparky?

'Til Later.

North...

...To Alaska! That's where my hubby is going. In approximately 12 days Sparky will depart for the North Slope. Why? He's going to work there. Is it my first choice? Absolutely not. However, a change is necessary, therefore, a change is here.

In additional job news, he's applied, interviewed, and preliminarily accepted a position with Boeing. Surprise. This position is also in Alaska. This is a permanent position. At this point we're putting it in God's hands. We've put our needs in place, and if it's not acceptable to the position, then it's simply not meant to be. End of conversation.

I have to admit. The move has me worried. We both know that we don't want to end up in Alaska. It's a nice state, it looks gorgeous, but it's a long, long way from family. Sparky knows that he wants to be in Minnesota, and well, I'm just okay with that. Though not necessarily where we are. We'll see what happens. In the meantime, absolutely nothing has been resolved by our decision. Everything is still flopping in the wind. At this point, it's just our of our hands...and in His. Just like everything else.

In other news, fall has arrived in Southern Minnesota. It's cool, the windows are open the soft, cool breeze is slipping over the window sills, and I'm ready for a peaceful, solid slumber. Too bad there's laundry to do, blogs to write, emails to catch up on, and facebook to check. And of course, Sparky's back to rub. Usually I'd brush him off and tell him that I will another night...but our night's are numbered, and there will be many in between that he falls asleep alone. So tonight, I bid adeiu and go to rub my hubby's back.

'Til later.

Up and Down Again?

So, Sparky is looking for a new job. He's been looking for a long time. Okay, so I'm sure someone out there has been looking longer, but in our lives it feels like a very loooooong time. The problem? He's looking for the perfect job. The one that will help catapult him to the next level of his career. The solution? We're not sure yet. But it may require drastic measures. Well, drastic by our standards anyway.

We live in Minnesota. We haven't always lived here. We lived in Colorado for two glorious years, and these are the years that made us who we really are, and made us realize how desperately we want to be parents. Because of the strong desire to create and nurture a family of our own, we wanted to be back in our "home" state, closer to the grandparents we were sure to create, or create again in the case of my in-laws. We moved home. Safe. To his "old" job and our "old" town.

Now that I'm finally growing comfortable with living here. Finally adjusting to the thought of this town being our hometown. We're most likely moving. And, we're most likely moving far, far away. Sparky had an interview today. Why a phone interview? The job, the "one", is in Alaska. REMOTE. ALASKA.

Now, most people's (women's) concerns would be that we would be about 300 miles from the nearest mall. 100 miles from the nearest WalMart, and in a very, very small town. Not mine. I'm petrified of not being near reputable medical care. And I'm scared to death that we won't be able to proceed with adoption.

I am infertile. That sucks. I won't be able to have a child (more than likely) without intervention. Medical intervention. Sounds fun huh? So now that we've begun to put the bio child aspect behind us, we're potentially moving to Bum Fuck Egypt. BFE. Where do you suppose the nearest adoption agency can be found if we're 300- yes 3 HUNDRED miles from the nearest mall? But alas, it's about the job. It has to be about the job. Without THE job there won't be any children, any way, any how. So, only time will tell.

I think I need to purchase some Uggs.