Babies, Babies and More Babies...

Sometimes I wonder if I ever have a thought that doesn't begin with the words..."when we have kids". It's never "if", and always "when". Sparky's the same way. With moving, and everything else that's going on in my world, I don't have as much time to sit around and ponder parenthood. But it's always there, that niggling thought.

Tonight CBS regaled us with the annual installment of Frosty The Snowman, and other such holiday classics. It's hard to believe that these are the same holiday specials that have been running since we were kids! Oh how I loved them then, and LOVE them now.

As we were running around vacuuming up the legions of dead bugs that accumulate in our house every fall, we took a couple minutes to just sit down and talk. It seems like lately we only talk in passing. There's always one more thing to do, one more place to run, or one more person to answer to. So, we sat. It was only about 15 minutes, but I think we said more in those 15 minutes than in the week we just left behind.

We talked about traditions of Christmases past, those we'd like to keep, those we'd like to do away with, and most importantly, those we'd like to start. For our family. Some day. Christmas is just such a special time of the year. It brings forth feelings of love, charity and generosity for all mankind. As a Christian I always feel closer to God and His Son at this time of year, for obvious reasons.

I'm scared. Truly afraid that I won't know what it's like to watch my child's face light up at the discovery of their stocking on Christmas morn, to hear my children's voices risen in song at the front of our church, or to feel their little kisses on my cheek. I guess I'm fortunate though, that fear makes me more strongwilled and bullheaded.

Is it possible to miss someone you've never even met?