Sometimes it just needs to come out.

Okay, so. It's craziness here in our life right now. I'm not complaining, I do my best work when things are nuts. But sometimes keeping it all locked up is really, really hard. You see, I'm not a secret keeping person. I don't believe in them. It causes problems. I prefer to be up there and out there. Line. Toed. So, that makes keeping our moving plans close to heart, painful.

Our landlords are our good friends. And we have a lease. So, now I need to ask to break the lease and it's difficult. I have every intention of making it easy for them, and doing right by them. However, I know they'll be hurt, and angry and that bothers me. On top of that, her grandma passed as I talked about here. And so, it's all so much for them to handle. I feel guilty. And sad. And scared. I just don't want it to hurt our friendship. I truly appreciate them, and all that they have done for us. I'm afraid that they'll feel that we're taking advantage of our friendship. It's just bad timing, and what we have to do for our family. I'm not sure they'll "hear" that.

My job. They know Sparky was going to head up for the temp job. They don't know that temp job is no longer on the horizon, and that he's just accepted the permanent job. They know that he'll be going in January, but not me. It's not a great time for me to leave. But I must. And so I'm feeling guilt and stress with that.

It's all sitting on my shoulders. The pressure. The stress. I feel that I should be in a place to feel excited about our move, but I'm not. I'm just feeling that everyone is disappointed. I just want support, and understanding, and I don't get much of that. Okay, done whining now. lol.