Cha-cha-changes

It seems that everything in our world is changing right now. So, I say to myself, why not do a major extreme makeover on my ass. Why not? Life's short. Live fully or not at all. Enter change #752. Actually, I don't mind at all. It's really been a long time coming, and it's not something that I'm going to do to totally shock my body. I need to ease into it.

I will also, eventually, have to start my meds. Metformin. 2000mg daily is the goal. I will start with 500 mg working up to the desired amount. So, what's the problem? Well, let's see, it makes me, um, really, um, sick. Let's just leave it there. It will eventually (supposedly) make me feel better but initially it makes me feel like shit. Pure shit. No pun intended. lol.

In my opinion a large, perhaps the largest part of the infertility game is mental. It's hard. It's tiring. No, tiring is NOT the word, exhausting. It is EXHAUSTING. For me, it's the one thing that makes me put all my cards in, or out, at one time. It's just so hard to overcome. That's when the anger, resentment and self-pity come in. However, as a woman who wants a child/ren, I don't feel that I can let this rest until I do my best to become pregnant.

After that if it doesn't happen then I will happily run towards the nearest adoption agency. I really don't know what it is, but I feel I'm destined to adopt. I know, sounds strange, but don't you dare judge it until you've lived it. I feel that at least part of my family will be built through adoption. I'm really excited about that.

So, as I sit here waiting for sleep to grab hold, sipping my raspberry zinger tea with soymilk, I know that someday (hopefully soon) I'll be yearning for these days as I nurse an infant, comfort a toddler, scold a pre-teen...I can't wait.