Sometimes Life is Unfair

18 Kids and Counting?

Have you seen this show? It’s a reality TV show on Discovery Health featuring the Duggar family. They are a wholesome, Christian family continually adding to their brood. I have no issues with them, truly I don’t. However, I just can’t help but wonder at the unfairness of the world. This one family is able to have 18+ healthy, beautiful children. Couldn’t just one or two of them be for me? Really.

Tonight’s episode focused on their eldest, newly-married son Josh and his wife, Anna. They have been trying to conceive for 4 grueling months. In this episode Anna takes the test and has Josh look for the results. She can’t bear to. It’s too disappointing. Now, I know that in their life 4 months seems like a long time, but OH PUHLEASE. Four months? FOUR MONTHS? Try 9 freakin’ years. Seriously.

Okay, sorry. That was my pity party. They really are a nice couple and I wish them much happiness and a healthy pregnancy. But sometimes life just seems really unfair. All in all, I’m pretty happy with my life. Am I happy that we don’t have children? No. However, not having to move young children 3000 miles is just one of the positives that I can find to the whole situation. Sometimes you just have to focus on the positive.

I generally have a pretty good attitude about it all. However, I started this blog as an outlet for all of my emotions. For some reason I don’t seem to come here when I’m happy and okay about all the infertility business. I seem to write and reflect on the lower periods. You know. When I’m throwing myself a big ole pity party.

I think some of my issues stem around being the middle child. I wanted to be first. At one thing. I know, it’s silly, and as I say it out loud it sounds even more childish than just thinking it. But, it’s how I feel, and I refuse to apologize for that. Truth is, I won’t be first, at anything, but damn it, I can be the best! LOL.

Honestly, at this point in my life I would love for my brothers to make me an aunt. However, I know that in time they will, or won’t, depending on what they want from their lives. I love my niece, and both of my nephews, and they are growing up way too fast. Can you believe my niece graduates next month? It hardly seems possible.

So for now I wait. I wait for my time, for my first. So wait, I will.

Have a happy day!